Dunkdunk di sini, di sono, dan di mana-mana…

Last week I went to Jakarta to accompany my mom who was about to go to see doctor and also undergo an operation, then dunno why, on the way there and back, I thought about my dad. He passed away more than 12 years ago. I don’t have many special/memorable memories about him. He was busy with his hobby which was taking care his pet birds. His hobby had been his #1 priority and it was also one thing that I didn’t like about him.

My dad was a cheerful man. He loved making jokes. And since I was born 5 years after he married to my mom, during that time trying to conceive me, he was also close with my cousins. And I suppose he loved them like his own kids as he didn’t have me yet.

I always loved when he made jokes and told me bedtime stories. His stories were always about “si kancil” (mouse deer), but not only “si kancil nyolong timun” (a children’s folk tale about a mouse deer who steals cucumbers), he could make up stories with his creativity so that “si kancil” could do more than just stealing cucumbers. And since his stories were never the same each time, I always looked forward to a new and interesting “kancil” stories.

I learned how to make a nice coffee with milk from my dad. Sometimes, when I was too lazy to make my own, I would steal a few sips from his gigantic mug (he always had his coffee (with/without milk) in his gigantic mug). Hmm, I guess that was the beginning of my liking coffee.

On my birthday, he seldom buy me presents and just gave me money instead. But he didn’t give me just like that, he would wrap it in his special way so that it would be interesting and exciting for me to open it up.

I never consider myself close with my dad. It often happened that I was jealous of my cousins that seemed to be closer to him than me to him. In my little kid eyes, I saw that my dad was so ‘clicked’ with my cousin in sharing jokes or anything, and it made me feel left out. As much as I tried to be close to him, it never worked.

One special moment that I could remember, was when my family had a trip to Jakarta. My dad had never been to Sea World, but my mom and I had. So to save up money, my mom asked me to accompany my dad. Honestly, I was not in the mood to see fishes (I’m not a fish person). But since my mom told me that my dad liked fishes, so I tried to cheer myself up and set my spirit high to accompany him. I showed my dad all the interesting fishes, we saw all the aquariums, went through the underwater escalator, I made sure that my dad saw all the fishes and all interesting sea creatures. Then after that, at the gift shop, I browsed through the soft toys (I was a a kid and I loved soft toys!). Suddenly, my dad bought me a white and cute seagull soft toys. And well since I was a kid, I didn’t think anything else and just accepted it happily. But that night, my mom told me that my dad was very happy that I accompanied him. He was touched that I was so full of spirit and excited when showing him around. I never thought that my small action could mean so much to him. And that time I just felt that we were so close than before.

That trip was the last trip our family went with its full member. My dad had a heart attack not long after that. Leaving me and my mom all alone. And sometimes, I’m angry for him leaving us when I was just started my youth. His death changed a lot of things.